There are so many things that I would love to do with Emily. There are places I think she may enjoy experiencing. Sometimes, I contemplate taking her on adventures to do some of these things. I think about taking her to a movie, a show, or a concert. I am really good at talking myself out of these trips. I decide it will be difficult, hard, or a disaster. My worries, fears, and anxieties shut down any plans. Emily can be extremely loud, and her behavior is not always acceptable by society’s norms and standards. I worry that I won’t be able to find an accessible place to park and get Emily in and out of the car. I fear she will need personal assistance, and there will not be an appropriate restroom to care for her needs. I worry about inconveniencing others with her behaviors and sounds. I don’t want to waste money on an experience that Emily will not be able to tolerate. I resign myself to the idea that it is too hard, and won’t be easy, and I shouldn’t bother trying.
I have been listening to Elizabeth Benton’s Primal Potential podcast for the past few years. There is almost always a pearl to be found in each episode. Recently, I listened to episode 1087: WHY Do You Want It To Be Easy?! In this episode, EB discusses the value of doing things that are difficult or challenging. She shares her thoughts about Jesse Itzler and his drive to accomplish hard things. (Jesse Itzler is the husband of Spanx founder Sara Blakely.) Jesse is driven to take on seemingly impossible challenges and believes that the more difficult the challenge, the greater the reward when, not if, he succeeds. Tell him something is impossible, and Jesse is the guy who will prove you wrong.
As the episode concluded, I realized that some of the best things I have done with Emily have been scary and hard. Todd and I drove across the country with Emily in 2021. It was not easy to make the trip with Emily. We overcame many obstacles, and we came home from vacation exhausted. (I shared the journey and experience in weekly blog posts*.) I remember falling into bed at the end of each day mentally and physically spent. Each day we watched Emily light up with joy and embrace the journey. Watching her enjoy the adventure brought me joy and made the hard work worth it.
Most people know Emily loves The Wiggles, but they may not know how much music influences her life and our home. Emily and I love having music on in the house. We are almost always jamming to some tunes. I love country music, and Emily loves Rap, Pop, and HipHop. Her favorite artists are Meghan Trainor, Kendrick Lamar, and Lizzo. I saw that Lizzo would be performing at a new venue about 2 hours from home in June. I know Emily loves Lizzo, but taking her to a concert a few hours away would not be easy.
The chatter quickly ensued. Billie, didn’t you just listen to a podcast about this. Why does it have to be easy? She may hate it. It may be an epic fail but you won’t know if you don’t try. Okay. It won’t hurt to look at tickets. It is probably sold out anyway.
I opened my laptop and searched for Lizzo at The Acrisure Arena in Thousand Palms. I opened the website and searched for wheelchair seating. To my surprise, there were wheelchair and companion seats available, and the tickets were reasonable. I thought about asking Todd and Justin if they wanted to go, but I knew they would not want to attend. This is going to be a mom-and-daughter-only experiment experience. I took the plunge and purchased the ticket.
I decided to book a hotel room near the venue so I would not have to drive home late at night with Emily. Now, I am fully invested in this trip. There is no going back. I visited the ADA section of The Acrisure Arena website to get information about the services provided. The site notes that all restrooms are wheelchair accessible, and there are family restrooms. An adult changing table is available in the First Aid room on the same level as our seats.
They also have a drop-off area for those with limited mobility. This would be a great option if Emily could maneuver her own wheelchair and did not have intellectual disabilities. The reality is I can’t just drop Emily off at the curb and go park. I talked Justin into going on the trip with us. He will not attend the concert but agreed to be our chauffeur. He will drop Emily and me off at the venue, and be on standby to pick us up. I feel confident in having a plan for the BIG hurdles of parking and personal assistance.
The concert is now less than a week away, and I feel more excitement than I do fear. I have been telling friends and family that it will be an EPIC adventure. It will be an epic success or an epic failure. There is no way to predict how Emily will show up. She may be overwhelmed and overstimulated and Justin will be picking us up right away or she may be thrilled and have a great time. Come back next week to find out how it all plays out. No matter what happens, it will be memorable, and there will be more stories to share.
*Posts from our trip across the country: Hard Doesn’t Mean Don’t, Six Days on the Road…Fourteen to Go, Wonderful But Not Restful Trip
Conversation for Change 