For all of you who came back this week to get the Lizzo concert 411, I want to say THANK YOU. I appreciate the support I received via texts, calls, and posts prior to the event. The encouragement and cheerleading did not go unrecognized and were needed.
I barely slept on Thursday night. The anticipation of the show on Friday left me feeling anxious, and I spent hours reframing it to excitement. I meditated. I visualized myself remaining cool, calm and collected no matter what transpired. Emily has been very vocal and anxious this week. Her emotions have been BIG, and she has been the opposite of calm all week.
Up before the sun on Friday, I began packing and preparing for our drive, hotel stay, and show. I wanted to bring everything that would make Emily feel comfortable and supported. Emily and I planned to share a bed at the hotel, and I was concerned she might fall out of the bed.
Last week, I listened to Madeline Cheney’s The Rare Life podcast. Episode 125 was tips and tricks for traveling with disabled kids. I have traveled with Emily many times and did not think I would learn anything new, but I was wrong. One of Madeline’s listeners shared a link for blow-up bumpers to insert under the fitted sheet.* I ordered a set to pack in our suitcase and hoped that while Emily is much larger than a toddler, it may still work to keep her from falling out of bed.
The AbilityFirst staff fed and assisted Emily right before I was scheduled to pick her up. In addition, the staff French braided her hair! As we began our 2.5-hour drive to the desert, Emily was unusually quiet. I began to feel more optimistic that her anxious mood was dissipating. Nope. About an hour into the ride, she got LOUD. She fussed the entire way there. Justin sat beside her and tried to entertain her.
We did a drive-by of the concert venue before heading to our hotel. I just wanted to know where we were going and the layout. The Acrisure Arena was only a mile away from our hotel. We checked into the hotel and let Emily crawl around and chill for a bit before grabbing walking to grab dinner. She was loud at the restaurant and discontent. My excitement began to decrease, and my anxiety increased as her mood shifted. It was too late to turn back now and in it.
After dinner, we headed to the hotel to change Emily into her Lizzo tee shirt. The staff at the hotel recommended we get to the venue by 6 to avoid traffic issues. Justin dropped us off, and we walked around the venue. Emily enjoyed walking and was quiet and calm. She was happy to watch security and staff in action. She watched cars as they pulled in and loved watching all the people. The gates opened at 6:30, and the arena had a great outdoor area. I purchased water for Emily to put into an empty cup I had packed. Once the venue opened, staff escorted us in and showed us where our seats were. Everyone that worked there was attentive and kind to Emily.
Emily’s anxiety started the second Latto came on stage. Between the noise of the crowd, the music, and the lights, Emily did not handle it. She was almost hyperventilating. I walked out with her and went to guest services to get noise-canceling headphones. It was so crowded that I could not even make it through with Emily’s wheelchair. We went outside, and the staff kindly escorted us to guest services. We were given earplugs, and Celena began to search for headphones. Apparently, the headphones were either relocated (maybe in witness protection) or never returned from prior events. I decided to take Emily outside to the garden area and wait until Lizzo played to go back inside. Emily was content watching concert goers arrive. It was like a mini-Pride festival. Half-dressed men in orange leather jumpers. Women in bright-colored wigs and feather boas. Tight sequin dresses and pant suits. Bright colors, cool shirts, extravagant makeup, lashes, and bare skin steadily passed us. Many stopped to talk to Emily and compliment her hair and tee shirt. The energy was high.
As we quietly took in the atmosphere, Celena approached us with a pair of fancy headphones. She apologized that they were unable to find the noise-canceling headphones, but she had gone to the tech booth and borrowed a pair from there. I was overcome with gratitude. I spent a few minutes trying to get Emily to adapt to the headphones, but she was not having it. She kept pulling them off and trying to throw them. I knew they were expensive. I decided to return them before Emily accidentally broke them. Back to guest services, we go.
Iza, in guest services, was not giving up on Emily. The employees turned to huddle and said they were upgrading us to the premier level. The seats would not be as close as the ones we purchased, but it was less crowded and quieter on that level. Another employee escorted us to the back of the arena, through double doors where the ice rink was, and behind private suites to an elevator. We emerged two levels up and were shown to our new seats. It was now after 9 pm, and still no Lizzo. I thought it might be a good time to get a drink at the fancy bar on this level. Emily and I were in line, and when it was our turn, the women in front of us informed the bartender they were buying my drink, and my money was no good. Wow! I protested. They insisted. I hugged them, and I may have shed a tear or two.
I found another corner for Emily and me to wait for the music to start. People would come by and chat with Emily. She was getting lots of attention and enjoyed that. Tina Turner’s What’s Love Got to Do With It played through the arena sound system, and the crowd went crazy. The entire arena was singing along. It was pretty magical. As the song concluded, the lights dimmed. Emily and I worked our way to our seats as the staff enveloped the fans in black velvet curtains. Lizzo came out, and the crowd got louder. The lighting was epic. The fans were boisterous and unhinged. Lizzo was sequinned from top to bottom and brought it. She encouraged the crowd to sing, get wild, and get louder. The place was explosive, and Emily was having a full-blown panic attack. No one could hear her. She wasn’t bothering anyone, but I could tell she was losing it. I spent two more songs trying to calm and console her. I put pressure on her shoulders. I rubbed her back. I talked to her. I sang to her. Nothing was going to stop the anxiety except leaving the situation.
As soon as we left the velvet curtain, she began to relax. I asked the staff to show us to the elevator, and we went down to the lower level. I went back to a corner that had low tables and monitors. They were actually playing the concert on the small screens. I got Emily another water, and we watched the show on the glowing box. She was happy and content. After about 30 minutes, I was done. I texted Justin to pick us up.
I stopped at the family restroom on the way out. I was pleasantly surprised that the restroom was vacant. The restroom was huge, and it had an adult changing table. As a mom of a disabled adult, this may have been the highlight of my night! I took care of Emily, and we walked to the rideshare area.
Once we were back at the hotel, it took Emily hours to unwind and fall asleep. I was exhausted. It had been a long day of planning, packing, driving, and the show. I was a bit disappointed that Emily did not enjoy the concert but happy that she loved everything else about the experience. My heart was full of gratitude for everyone that worked hard to make it a great experience for Emily. The staff gave 110% and exceeded my expectations. Lizzo’s fans were incredible. Fun, feisty, spirited, kind, and inclusive. Everyone we interacted with engaged with Emily. They acknowledged her. They complimented her. They saw her.
I say the word that sums up the experience is BIG. From the energy of the fans, the kindness of the staff, Lizzo’s admiration towards her fans, the gratitude in my heart, AND Emily’s anxiety…It was all BIG.
*The bumpers were a winner. They stayed in place and worked great. Justin complained about having to blow it up, but I told him at least he only had to do one. They are very light weight and easy to pack too. Two thumbs up!
Conversation for Change 