The Beauty in A Pause

“Let’s just take a pause”, he said. As he finished the sentence, the floodgates opened. I began to cry. There I was sitting in the office of this man I had just met for the first time crying “the ugly cry”. There was something about what he said that released fear, anxiety, and frustration that I didn’t even realize I had been holding.

I have developed some health issues over the past few years. They could have been there all my life or maybe they are new. I have no idea and wonder if anyone really does. What I know is, the past few years have been filled with symptoms and the cause has not been determined. I have seen several doctors, including two neurologists, and three rheumatologists.  All of these doctors have used testing along with their expertise to determine what is causing issues. I have a list of diagnoses a page long on my chart. The reality is, no one really knows for certain and each doctor has a different opinion and course of action to take. It has been exhausting. 

As I sat in front of my latest rheumatologist, I thought, here we go again. Every specialist has tried to address the issues and has added medication to manage symptoms. I don’t think things are significantly better with these medications. This time the doctor suggested a different approach. He had read through my chart. He was informed about my prior treatments. The doctor knew about Emily and her disabilities. He had assessed everything and then said with firm conviction, “I think the best thing is…let’s take a pause. Let’s discontinue all medication the other doctors have prescribed and wait and see. We will wait six months and start fresh with labs and a new perspective.”

There was freedom in his words. This makes so much sense. Often, when things seem unclear, when the path is uncertain, it is good to take a pause. When stress and overwhelm creep into my day, a pause can change those emotions. When my thoughts are racing or anxiety takes hold, I take a pause. When I am driving and feel like I am way off course, I take a pause. When Emily is inconsolable or agitated, take a pause. When I feel buried in my job, my life, my responsibilities, then I take a pause. When I feel pain, either physical or emotional, I take a pause. A pause is always the first action toward a calmer state of being. 

I feel best when I pause, listen to my body, take in my surroundings and choose to be in the moment. I see everything more clearly, and the answers seem to come to me. There is much to be learned in the pause. There is comfort, security, clarity, and awareness in the pause. Later we can try more testing, search for answers, and experiment with other options, but for now, let’s take a pause.

Published by bshort1968

I am a self-described caregiver. I love to help and care for others. I have learned the value of caring for myself as well. Now I want to live my life helping others learn to care for others and take care of themselves as well.

3 thoughts on “The Beauty in A Pause

  1. Billie-

    Best news ever!

    In answer to a prompt from one of my spiritual teachers I recently asked the following:

    Day Schildkret Thanks for this prompt!

    “What do you see everything around you doing that you can participate in? How can you change as the season changes?”

    My answer:

    What if I began and ended every day in gratitude? What if I woke up in awe that I did? What if I stopped judging everything? What if curiosity became my watch word? What if I gave myself permission to regularly screw up? What if I spoke to myself with the same courtesy I speak to strangers? What if I decided it was ok to play? What if I followed the fun? What if I dared to suck because I finally acknowledged I’m not supposed to be great at something I’ve never done before? What if WE all agreed these are some great things to consider? What if? 🌻🍃🍂🍁 🤔

    And now, “What if we just paused?”

    Thanks for another great article!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: