Scorched Psyche, Slaughter, and Sleepless Nights

The pattern has repeated itself night after night for almost a week. I need to figure out how to disrupt it and clear the debris. I can only hope that my scorched psyche will heal once I empty the crazy in my mind. Writing has always been my cheapest form of therapy. For my sanityContinue reading “Scorched Psyche, Slaughter, and Sleepless Nights”

Dancing in Disconnect

This past weekend, Todd and I decided to take the family camping for the long weekend. Justin wanted to stay home and have friends over, and he agreed to care for our senior poodle, Coco. We chose our location and planned our meals. I prepared all the things needed to take Emily on a roadContinue reading “Dancing in Disconnect”

Experiencing a Heart Smile

What makes you smile? That was the question we pondered in our listening circle group today. It was an easy question for me. “The better question to ask me is what doesn’t make me smile? I smile all the time. I smile at puppies, kittens, babies, commercials, and my kids, and when I connect withContinue reading “Experiencing a Heart Smile”

I See a Little Whimsy on the Horizon

What a difference a day makes, I thought. Today I feel like I can breathe again. There is hope on the horizon. No, nothing has really changed, except maybe my attitude. I chose to stay in the trenches for the past few weeks without trying to climb out. I felt isolated, sad, and overwhelmed. EmbracingContinue reading “I See a Little Whimsy on the Horizon”

Choosing Guilt Improved My Mental Health

Ever since I was a child, I prioritized the needs of others over my own needs. I never wanted to let others down. My desire to meet the needs of family, friends, and even strangers generally came before my willingness to recognize and care for my needs. On the rare occasion that I did somethingContinue reading “Choosing Guilt Improved My Mental Health”

Caregivers Require Care Too

Caregiving is the most stressful and difficult job there is. I remember when my son was born. I delivered him and 24 hours later, my husband and I were sent home to care for this precious human on our own. Our doctor and friends referred us to reference books to guide us. The manuals wereContinue reading “Caregivers Require Care Too”

Hmm, How Can I Help?

Raising children is not easy. Caring for a child with medical needs or physical and intellectual disabilities adds to the challenges. The disease or disability can often take a family hostage, or at least that is how it feels. Your time is not your own. Your needs get kicked down the road. Sometimes they travelContinue reading “Hmm, How Can I Help?”

Exchange Excuses for Reasons

Last night I wanted chocolate. It was after 7 pm. I am not a woman who eats after 7 pm I reminded myself. My brain ignored this gentle reminder. It proceeded to recite why I should eat the chocolate. My mind provided a multitude of justifications. If you don’t eat it, someone else will. ItContinue reading “Exchange Excuses for Reasons”

Decorating My Funk With Some Live Music

“If you find yourself in a funk—don’t decorate it.” I came across this quote in one of my journals this week. It is a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic. This book is a favorite of mine. It is uplifting, inspiring, and well–magical. Gilbert warns that when you are feeling the blues, it isContinue reading “Decorating My Funk With Some Live Music”

The Beauty in A Pause

“Let’s just take a pause”, he said. As he finished the sentence, the floodgates opened. I began to cry. There I was sitting in the office of this man I had just met for the first time crying “the ugly cry”. There was something about what he said that released fear, anxiety, and frustration thatContinue reading “The Beauty in A Pause”