Disability, Communication, and Covid

This week we all tested positive for Covid. This has been challenging for our family. We usually work as a team. If one person is down, another can pick up the slack. (Think Brené Brown’s GAP plan.) Well, we are all down. This would be okay if we could all retreat to our corners and rest, but we can’t. We still have to care for Emily.

If Emily slept, that would also be helpful. We do not know what Emily’s disability is, but whatever she has impacts her sleep. She doesn’t do it. It takes lots of medication to get her to sleep, but nothing keeps her asleep. Someone must stay close by to supervise her and make sure she doesn’t get into trouble. She loves to knock over furniture and rearrange the tables. Her crawling has suddenly improved with Covid. (I am probably just slower.)

Emily’s activity that keeps me on my toes is not my biggest concern. I am worried about her. Her inability to communicate how she is feeling has always been my biggest concern. If she seems unwell, I feel fear and anxiety. I worry and watch. Today she is refusing food and liquids. I can only presume she has a sore throat, and it hurts to swallow. Then I worry she is not getting enough fluids to help her body heal. Rest and hydration are key to recovery, and she is not doing much of either. 

She takes pills with applesauce like a champ, so we give her the same medication we take to manage our symptoms. It is the best we got, but it feels inadequate. I hate the lack of communication more than anything else about her disability. It has always been difficult for me to accept. There are times I can see her frustration too. She knows what she wants (or doesn’t want) but cannot express it.

God willing, Covid will pass. We will all wake up one day and feel better, but Emily will still be unable to express her wants and needs. I am too sick to try to spin my thoughts. It sucks.